1/10/08 Age - the indomitable foe..

I met someone today whom I thought was older than me and when he told me his age he was actually 2 years younger than me, that came as a surprise because he looked older but the thing that bothered me was not that he was younger, but that I was older and thinking back, I have been meeting more and more people who are younger than me. It could mean either of 2 things: I'm just meeting more younger people for some reason or...I'm actually getting old. I have a feeling it's the latter. I'm 28. I know I know, most people are going to berate me for thinking I'm old at that age but you know, in the gay world 28 is like 56 or something. I might as well retire from the gay scene in 2 years time..give or take.
Gone were the days when I used to be the youngest in a group of people, now there's a much higher chance that I'm the oldest and that'll only increase the older I get. Time seems to move faster when you're older too and nowadays I feel so apprehensive of getting old that I try do to as much as I can in life before I'm too old and that results in me overextending myself and burning out mentally, sometimes I feel like my brain is going to short circuit and my body is gonna fall apart from watching too many movies, meeting too many people, having too much sex, eating as much as I can before my metabolism disappears, etc..Sigh, the bane of mortality. Let's hope someone discovers the fountain of youth before I get too old to reverse the ravages of aging!

30/9/08 Lucky in cards..

I played a card game yesterday with 2 other friends, we played something called Chor Dai Di, it's Asia's twist on the classic game of poker I suppose. The rules go something like: You have to throw a card that is of higher number than what the previous person throw out, whether it be a single or pair or 3 of a kind, four of a kind, straight, flush, full house etc. So we were playing the game for many rounds and amazingly, one of the players (not me unfortunately) for some reason almost every single round had either a straight flush or four of a kind! Now any decent poker or card player will tell you that that is statistically damn hard to achieve! Suffice it to say, we were more than a little bit chagrined and since we were playing money, I lost quite a lot, especially because a straight flush or four of a kind automatically gives the player a certain amount of money. But I'm just wondering, what is this thing called luck and what kind of lucky confluence of circumstances that allows such an anomaly to occur. I wonder if there is an explanation, at least one that makes sense, of this thing called luck..

28/9/08 Shirt tags in plain view

One of the things that I can't stand seeing, and this is by no means the fault of the people involved, is the sight of shirt tags hanging out from the top for the whole world to see. I don't know why, even though it's a small trivial detail but for some reason, it just drives me crazy and makes me feel like reaching out on a complete stranger and turning it back into the shirt. Undoubtedly, if I did that I'd probably get a dirty look or maybe even a tight slap or get into a fight with a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend, so I don't. For now I can just do that to friends who I know won't beat me up, lol.

26/9/08 Selfish motherfuckers!

I hate hate hate selfish motherfuckers who suck you grudgingly and then after they cum give you the excuse that they don't suck after they cum, that's just so fucking selfish, I hope they burn in hell and forced to suck other people for eternity without being able to cum forever.

25/9/08 The world is but a stage..

I went to watch a play today, my friend who is involved in it invited me. It was actually 3 plays in 1 so that probably accounts for why it was 2 and 1/2 hours long. The actors did a great job, hardly any mistakes. It always amazes me how actors in plays manage to memorize such large volumes of dialogue and yet make minimal mistakes. Even with countless numbers of rehearsals isn't easy to just miss lines or worse, totally blank out? Yet most plays that I have been to that has almost never happened. It really amazes me! They must have such powers of concentration and the ability to just tune out the audience and be so quick and not have any inhibitions on stage. Maybe to them it's normal and easy but to me it's astounding! I've tried to act in a play once when I was in high school and it was disastrous! I forgot half the lines (though how few they were), and mixed up the rest! After that I had a phobia about acting in plays and swore never to act in one ever again! I really admire those people who manage to get up on stage, put themselves out for criticism and yet grin and bear it and at the end of the day manage to deliver spot on performances..

24/9/08 Matters of the brain..

If psychologists and psychiatrists are out to earn money, how do patients know that they are truly helping them or keeping them sick so they can earn more money from them? Since psychologists know so much about the brain and how people think what prevents them from using that knowledge in manipulating people for their own purposes? If they also need to earn money then how do we know what their true motivations are and whether they are really 'good people' who truly deep down want to help people. They could be evil for all we know. I met one who was rude, bitchy and condescending, very unprofessional. So if we can't rely on even psychologists and psychiatrists to help us, the so-called experts of the human mind, then what hope is there left to help even ourselves? Scary when you think about it...

23/9/08 Unable to relax

I feel so restless and unable to relax today, sweaty palms and feet even when I'm driving, unable to talk properly with people, am I suffering from some condition? Sigh..

22/9/08 Sinus Madness!

My sinusitis is back, I'm so frustrated, apparently I have allergies and several ENT (Ear Nose and Throat for the uninitiated) specialists I saw told me that there's no cure for it so several times a year I will get extensive sneezing and nasal congestion and green infected mucous and loads of phlegm and terrible face pain and fever and headache! OMG I hate it so much. Medication just gets rid of it for a short while and it comes back and everytime I have to take antibiotics which is bad for my body the more I take it but I have no choice because that's apparently the only way to kill bacteria! So now I'm going to see if I can do nasal irrigation instead with something called a Neti pot but doubtful I can get it in Malaysia..maybe..I just hope I can put an end to this, just cant imagine having to live with this terrible affliction for the rest of my life and/or taking medication permanently!

21/9/08 Rain hands pee

A funny thing happened today. I was with a friend in the early afternoon and we were caught in the rain leaving a place. It was actually a very light drizzle so not much rain actually got on us. After that we went to a shopping mall and he wanted to go to the toilet. I also needed to go, so we went in and my friend went straight to the sink to wash his hands. At first I didn't give it much thought, I just assumed his hands were dirty and he needed to wash them. Then after I finished at the urinal and went to wash my hands, he in turn went to the urinal to pee. I thought it was weird that he washed his hands before he peed and asked him why and he said cause he was under the rain earlier. That sort of baffled me because:
Number 1: It wasn't like we were drenched or anything.
Number 2: The rain would've a long time already before that.
Number 3: Why would someone wash their hands because of a bit of rain? Could it be the few drops of minor acidic rain would've eaten away at his skin or something?
Hmm...weird...

20/9/08 Strong smelling fruit

My mom bought jackfruit and though it smells really nice, like a sweet scented fruit perfume, it's kind of overpowering..to the point that I can smell it in my room all the way from the kitchen! I wonder why some fruit has such a much stronger scent than others? Anyways, I'm happy it acts as a natural air-freshener!

19/9/08 - List of UNACCEPTABLE behaviour from so-called friends.

Today I decided (after meeting many people who call themselves friends but exhibit such unfriendly behaviour) to put together a list of what I think is unacceptable behaviour in a friendship:

What I find UNACCEPTABLE in a 'friendship':
1. Friends who actually became 'friends' with you because they wanted to sleep with you and when you say no they don't even want to be friends anymore. Just say if you want a fuck and be prepared to take no for an answer.

2. Friends who are usually friendly and totally ignore you when they're with someone whom they are interested in and don't want to introduce to you for fear of you 'stealing' that person away. Guess what, you're a bastard and you don't deserve friends.

3. Friends who want to sell you things or ask you to join schemes to earn money.

4. Friends who lie often.

5. Friends who borrow money and/or expect you to pay for stuff. Go rob a bank.

6. Friends who always ask you to fetch them, or worse, expect you to just because they don't have a car. Ever heard of taxis?

7. Friends who think they own you and you're not supposed to hang go out with the friends they introduce to you without them. That's just being selfish.

8. Friends who asks you straight for another friend's number when they just met. I'm not a pimp, ask for it yourself.

9. Friends who get to know you to get to know other people and/or find out about a person they like.

10. Friends who are fake, superficial and shallow.

11. Friends who are rude, who don't reply your sms when necessary and only at their convenience.

18/9/08 My very first blog...

This is my first entry in my blog. So the thought of the day is: why the hell haven't I blogged ages ago when I knew about it? Hmm, maybe cause I have procrastinated about it....for many years :-@ I know what you're thinking, I'm probably the worst procrastinator in the world! So to everyone: Don't procrastinate! You might end up not doing something you wanted to do for years!