Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sex addiction..
I just read an article on Oprah.com that deals with sexual addiction, and she actually had a show about that. So as with most of her shows, she had guests on who talked about their sexual addiction and it was interesting that all of them were actually not addicted to the sex per se, but were looking for other things like validation, intimacy, etc that they did not know how to achieve the normal way. The other component was apparently lack of self worth and esteem which would trigger that kind of behaviour that feeds their emotional shortcomings..as a gay person, I wonder if it's an epidemic affecting majority of gay men, since we are known to be promiscuous, but usually it's attributed to the fact that we're men and of course we want sex, but does it go deeper than that? Does it maybe have something to do with the self image and insecurities as gay men both with their bodies and lack of security in terms of a conventional marriage that straight people are expected to have that we lack that is causing it? Causing many gay men to seek security and validation from sex? I think there is a huge possibility it is so..
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4 comments:
I completely agree, men in general are quite sexual, due to the fact we're driven by testosterone. I think from what I've seen with gay men is that through sex with multiple partners, we are able to get the validation that our lifestyle pressures us to have. We are expected to be good looking, we are expected to sleep around and be frivolous with our sexuality, which seems to be something the majority of gay men are willing to live up to. The older we get though it seems as though we start to look at things differently (not all, but a majority) and want something long term, want something permanent. I believe we can have everything a straight relationship can have, it just takes commitment and as cheesy as it sounds, real love.
Well said! Yes it's sort of propagating the stereotype I suppose..
This is so true, thanks for bringing it up. Sometimes, I just feel like it is impossible for a gay person like me to actually have a long term relationship.
I guess it's somewhat of a vicious cycle. How do I say it...hmmm, because of the pressures that come with being a gay men (like what Mik.Simo said)especially the stereotype that gay relationships are never long term, gay men tend to have this notion of "non-long-lasting-ness" at the back of their mind even when they decided to be attached to someone else.
As a result, the relationship will no doubt suffer as he will find it hard to commit and is most probably on the constant look out for a new love/fling. And the cycle goes on and on. I guess that's another way of pinpointing the problem.
What do you think?
:)
-Leonard L
I'm agree with you.. Every straight men get to have a life which have progression. as in after being in a relationship then got married later on have kids and so on.. Us being gay we don't have that..though some of us wish that we could..so adoption is a way out from this..
But the contradiction is that should we educate the little one to be like their parents or to be a normal straight man..but somehow i see is that a kid being taken care by homo parents will soon lead them into confusion and further yet descrimnation as well..
I do believe in long lasting relationship..but majority of them don't..this quite sad you see..
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